Should We Stay or Should We Go?


Background
A client — we'll call her M — came to a session carrying a question that had been quietly weighing on her for a while. She and her husband had been living in Portugal for seven years. Life was good in many ways. But something had shifted, and a question kept surfacing: should we move somewhere else?
It felt like a practical question about geography. It turned out to be something much more personal.

The Presenting Question
M wasn't asking for someone to make the decision for her. From the very start of the session she was clear about what she actually needed: not a decision, but clarity.

"I want to be more clear about what's important," she said. "Is this a phase — or is it real? Would we actually be happier somewhere else?"

What she wanted was to understand her priorities. Not a pros and cons list — those weren't helpful. And underneath it all, she wanted to feel at peace.

What Emerged Through Exploration
As the session unfolded, M began to get specific about what she was actually looking for. Warm ocean water. Good weather. A rich cultural life — bookshops, theaters, live music. And most importantly, people she could genuinely relate to. People with whom she could build real, deep relationships.
That last one kept coming back.

Through our exploration together, something shifted. What M had initially thought mattered most wasn't quite what rose to the surface when she looked more closely.
People were the most important thing. Connection. Belonging.

And then came a quieter, more powerful realization: some of what she was longing for didn't necessarily require a new city.

The kinds of people she was seeking — she could begin looking for them where she already was. The sense of aliveness she craved — that was something she could cultivate, not just stumble upon somewhere else. She left with a new awareness: that she had more agency over her experience than she had realized, wherever she was.

The Turning Point
The shift wasn't a dramatic one. It was subtle and honest.
M came in asking whether to stay or go. She left with something more nuanced: a clearer sense of what she was actually seeking, and the beginning of a question worth sitting with — how much of what I'm looking for is already here, if I look differently?

She didn't leave with a decision. She left with more clarity than she arrived with. Which was exactly what she had asked for.

What She Walked Away With
M reflected at the end of the session that she felt genuinely listened to. The coaching approach helped her stay focused and see her own thinking more objectively.

"I have more control," she said, "when I have more peace."

That line captured something important about the session. The question was never really about Portugal. It was about agency — the feeling of choosing your life rather than drifting through it. Coaching helped her reconnect with that sense of agency, not by answering the question for her, but by helping her hear what she already knew.


A Note on This Work
Big life decisions rarely resolve neatly in a single conversation. But clarity — real clarity — can begin to emerge when someone feels safe enough to slow down and listen to themselves.
M arrived uncertain. She left more grounded. And sometimes, that's the most important first step.

If you're at a crossroads — in life, in place, or in direction — and you want clarity, I’d love to connect. Schedule your discovery call.

All client details have been anonymized. Published with permission.